The Mind and Change

Big Jack was looking into the window

The family was having dinner inside

They had no idea he was watching them

Being a cat is tiring, Jack thought

What did you notice when you were reading that short piece? You probably found that you continuously updated the view you had of the scene in your mind's eye. At first it was an image of a man, perhaps, watching a family having dinner. You might have changed your ideas about the intentions of the man when you found out the family didn't know he was there. Only for the whole scene to be toppled over its head, and you discover Jack is actually a harmless cat on the window sill. 

This is a tiny example on how our mind is continuously at work, 'behind the scenes', trying to make sense of the world. 

In any given moment, we're always gathering details about the present moment, and we continuously look for even more details about those details. We try to construct a mental image of what's around us and we compare it to things that happened in the past, and then project it onto possible scenarios in the future. The mind is truly an amazing thing.

But this worries me too. Because the way I see it, if I do come out to a friend, that little extra detail about who I am will play a major role in toppling his mental image of me. He might be supportive, but he might not be. Who am I to deconstruct years and years of the social homophobia my friends and family have been exposed to? I know I am struggling to get over it myself.