Are they better than us?

Homosexuality is fundamentally against our values, isn't it? It's not what our culture is about, right? Being true to myself is a betrayal to the Arab inside me. Or at least that's what haters tell me ... 

But what makes us Arabs different? What's special about our culture? It definitely isn't the Homo(u)s [no pun intended :-)]. 

During a trip to NYC; I would always tell those who wanted to listen about our family values. I would talk about our great hospitality, the way we cherish our neighbours and how we live in an extended family structure, where a second cousin is as close to the heart as one's brother. 

They smile and wish they had the same. "We lost our family values" they sadly confess. They reminisce about the older generation and how it all used to be. We proudly say how we still cherish those values and we nuzzle that warm feeling of self-righteousness.

However, I pause and silently reflect. I come to the conclusion that it's all bullshit. What use are family values when I fear my parents would reject me because of who I am? How are we more closely knit, when I see mothers over there loving their kids regardless, and my mother worrying more about who and if I'm going to marry? 

Parents in our culture struggle with the concept of "unconditional love". I know it's a tough generalisation, but it's closer to the truth than anything. We only love our kids if they turn out the way we imagined them to, with a perfect family of their own so we can die happily and rest in peace, knowing they're having  expectations of their own to force onto their kids. A non-ending hypocritical cycle of 'pretend love'. Bullshit. 

Gay or straight, an overachiever or mentally handicapped; You love your kids period. And I can't help feel jealous of parents in the west, who seem to be able to do just that.

Oh but wait, our culture has stronger family ties ...