It's February the 29th! And with it, I'm taking a leap of faith that things will change. A leap of faith that 20 years down the line I will be happy, that I will still want to see more of my life.
Yesterday was a downer for me. I signed up for a Jordanian forum called mahjoob.com. In it people get to discuss everything standard Jordanians go through. From political views on the Arab spring, to simply ranting about a mishap on public transport.
I tried to share my story and discuss the elephant in the room; homosexuality in our region. I thought it started well, but less than a day in, I was banned. Banned for being myself and banned for asking for social acceptance.
I was hopeless; realising that I am fighting a colossal mountain, it also left me feeling scared and disgruntled. It was a taster of my worst nightmare; shunned from my own society for being me.
I need the leap of faith, that things will change. It's all what I got.
It DOES get better! :)
ReplyDeleteEven in "enlightened" (i.e.: more open to homosexuality) societies, coming out is often a long and difficult process that goes through various stages: coming to terms with oneself, coming to terms with one's families, friends, colleagues, etc. It does take time and it does require some measure of stubbornness and willpower. But in the end, nothing compares to being fully oneself, believe me! :)
With best wishes,
ac.