HappYness

The pursuit of happyness. That movie really made me think. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's basically a true story of this guy longing to feel happy. Without ruining too much of it, him and his kid end up on the streets of San Francisco. Rushing from one homeless shelter to another; one night, they  resort to sleeping in a public toilet at a subway station. Realising that he has hit rock bottom, we see him trying to hold back the tears with the son sleeping in his lap. A very emotional scene.

How does that relate to my situation, you ask? I'm not saying that I have it as bad as a homeless man. Maybe in some way the movie made me realise how bad things could be. At least I have a bed I go home to every night; food pretty much guaranteed on the table; friends I could trust, and a family whom, despite not knowing my secret, I will always love. Things could be much worse I remind myself. A quick glance at Al-Jazeera's hourly news update and events in Homs make that very clear. Things could be much worse.

But the movie gave me insight into the struggle a class of society goes through daily. A struggle I completely dismissed every time I walked by a homeless dude. We drive past them, and whether at a traffic light or outside a mosque, we silently judge them. We judge them for their choices (?) that brought them to where they are now. As if they purposely decided to end up in that situation.; dirty, sad and exhausted. Was that the future they had in mind for themselves as kids?

I never understood why we do that. Why do we judge them? What part of human nature allows for such inhumane thoughts to come to our heads? Is it the sense of superiority it gives us? Their failure somehow highlighting what we've accomplished in our lives, and we thus feel better? We forget that we are all humans pursuing happiness. Wanting to feel better.

They do say it gets better, however I can't help but feel that people will look at my sexuality and feed off my failure. I failed to fit into the social norm of our homophobic society in the same way that homeless person failed when life threw its worse at him and took all what he's got. 

We get so involved in pursuing our own happiness that sometimes we forget we have the keys to the happiness of others. Whether that key is securing a man's lunch for the day or simply giving another the much needed social acceptance, we forget. And we ride each others' fears and feed off the anxieties. We try and pull each other down, hoping that this would maybe get us a little bit closer to the top. 

Weird ass monument on the 7th circle - using monument

in the loosest sense of the word here

A very cynical view of our society, I know. But I even think that's what the weird monument on the seventh circle represents. They say it shows people striving for education, But I see people fighting over happiness; forgetting it could be shared. Forgetting we can all bloody have it if we stopped stepping on each other's heads to get to it. Forgetting that getting to the the top means nothing when you're there all by yourself. 

... Or maybe it's just the mood I'm in when I'm stuck in traffic over there.